I wasn’t always like this. There was a time when I barely spoke. Not because I didn’t have anything to say—but because I thought my words didn’t matter. I’d walk into a room and take the corner seat. Smile when someone looked my way. Nod at conversations but rarely joined in.
It wasn’t just shyness. It was a heavy feeling deep inside that maybe I didn’t belong in the spotlight. That if I said something, I’d mess up. People would judge me. Or worse—just ignore me. So, I stayed quiet.
But silence comes with its own kind of pain. I was tired of hiding the real me. Tired of feeling invisible. I didn’t want to be louder—I just wanted to feel seen and heard for who I really was.
When I Realized I Had a Choice
There was this one day in college that still sticks with me. Everyone around me was relaxed—talking, laughing, answering questions like it was easy. And I was just… there. Watching. Not part of it.
Something shifted in me that day. I didn’t cry or make a big decision. It was just a quiet moment in my mind that said, “You don’t have to keep living like this.”
So I started small. I looked someone in the eye and said hi. I pushed myself to speak in class, even when I was nervous. I joined group conversations and tried not to overthink every word.
It was uncomfortable. My voice trembled. But I realized confidence isn’t the absence of fear—it’s showing up despite it.
The Power of Small Changes
I didn’t wake up one day as a confident person. It was slow. Really slow. I said yes to things I used to avoid. I tried speaking even if it was just a sentence. I forced myself not to back out at the last minute.
It didn’t always feel good. Some days I walked away thinking, “That was awkward.” But other days? I felt a little stronger. And I started to believe that maybe I did belong after all.
And I learned something big: you don’t need to be loud to be strong. You just need to be real. You just need to keep going—even if no one’s clapping for you.
How I Practiced When No One Was Watching
At home, I’d stand in front of the mirror and talk to myself. Not rehearsing speeches—just learning how to speak without shrinking. I read out loud. Practiced deep breathing. Used my hands when I talked. I whispered to Allah in quiet moments, asking for help.
These weren’t big, dramatic practices. Just quiet routines. But they healed something inside me.
No one saw that progress—but I did. And I think that’s what matters most.
What Islam Taught Me About Strength
The world shouts, “Be bold. Be seen. Be loud.” But Islam reminded me that real strength looks different. It’s in the calm, not the chaos. In being true—not trendy.
Maryam (AS) came to mind often. She faced immense tests with grace and patience. And the Prophet ﷺ—he spoke with purpose and calm. Not to be heard by the loudest crowd, but to reach hearts.
That’s the kind of strength I wanted. Not flashy. Not loud. Just rooted. And I asked Allah for it. Slowly, He gave it to me.
To Anyone Who Feels Too Quiet
If you ever feel like your presence is small, or your voice doesn’t matter—I’ve been there. I still have days like that.
But please know this: your quiet doesn’t make you weak. Your softness isn’t a flaw. Allah sees you. Your efforts. Your intention. Your growth.
You don’t need to change who you are to be enough. You already are.
Keep showing up. Keep speaking up—when you’re ready. Because the world needs your kind of voice, even if it doesn’t realize it yet.
Q&A – Honest Answers from My Journey
Q1: I’m quiet. How do I build confidence?
Start with what feels possible. One sentence. One hello. That’s all it takes to begin.
Q2: Can a shy person really be confident?
Absolutely. Confidence isn’t about being outgoing—it’s about knowing you’re worthy.
Q3: What helped the most?
Mirror talk. Group conversations. Doing the scary thing over and over until it didn’t scare me as much.
Q4: How did you deal with public speaking fear?
I didn’t “beat” the fear. I just spoke anyway. Shaky voice and all. And it got easier.
Q5: Is confidence connected to self-worth?
Yes. Once I stopped questioning if I mattered, confidence came more naturally.
Q6: What does Islam say about confidence?
It teaches balance—being sincere, not showy. Grounded, not loud. True confidence is quiet and steady.
Q7: Do I have to act differently to be confident?
Not at all. You don’t need to become someone else. You just need to stop hiding who you already are.